This is very good. It can be improved upon by just adding a forshadowing of the kidnapper's clumsiness, forgetting which key is for what, or milk in the cupboard so we'd not be surprised by "where did they pull that from?" reaction from the audience. Also, I'd have the girl scream more, once the boyfriend walks in because she recognizes his voice, "Ransom" if one can recall the Gibson film. Also, I'd move away from the walls for the cinematography and harden the lights. The scene is too well lit for a kidnapping. Finally, I'd long shots of the girl, make it a bit more psychological, the reaction of the two to each other. For the inserts, I'd edit at least 3 seconds, instead of a second. It passes too fast for the audience to see what we just saw. Great job.